Potty Training (Pt.2)

My Dearest Belle,

Since we succeeded potty training a few months back, you’ve only needed a diaper for night sleeps. I was waiting for you to wake up with a dry diaper for at least a few nights before we try to do away with the diaper altogether. Four nights ago, you woke up and gleefully told me that you didn’t pee in your diapers.

But I had been fooled in the past.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that your diaper was bone dry! You were so excited that you asked if you could start wearing your undies to sleep at night. I had to pull the brakes and negotiate with you: three additional nights of no wet diapers, and we would give it a go with the undies at night.

And you did it.

Last night, we added another step to your bedtime routine: papa takes you to the bathroom, we all exclaim, “Wakanda!”, you cross your arms in front of your chest, he pulls your shirt around your arms to lock them in, you pee, and THEN, it’s finally time for bed.

The “Wakanda” move is to ensure you don’t touch anything and therefore you don’t have to wash your hands… IDK, Peanut… as of late, you’ve been trying to find ways to get out of touching anything while you go so that you don’t have to wash your hands.

Anywho, this morning, you woke up, and I am so proud and happy to share that you have officially ditched the diapers!!! Papa and I are sooooooooo proud of you!!!

Love always,
Mama

Potty Training

My Dearest Belle,

A few months before you turned two, you used the potty for the first time. It was an exciting moment for all of us. You said you wanted to try it, sat down, pushed a bit, smiled, and said you were “all done”. I didn’t think you actually did anything, and then, there it was:

You had pooped in the potty!

We were over the moon! Maybe this was your time! You could be potty trained before you hit your second birthday!

It didn’t happen that way.

We, along with your grandparents and all the teachers are daycare were counting down the days until you would be out of diapers. You are smart, capable, and such a quick-learner… we thought once you got around to it, you would be able to catch on quickly. Unfortunately, for the next few months, you were open to peeing on the toilet once in a while, but whenever you had to poop, you would announce the need, then vehemently refuse to use the toilet. It was as if you were scared to do it. So, since you turned two, daycare has been actively trying to convince you that using the toilet is a great thing - that diapers are for babies, and you were no baby! You’re an 언니 now!

You gladly took the title… but rejected the toilet.

Then one day, grandma called while she was babysitting, and told me the amazing news: You had pooped in the toilet! It took 20 minutes of sitting there singing and chatting with you, but you did it! So she took off your diaper and had you in only your pants for the rest of the day, only putting your diaper back on when it was time for your nap. This was the cue that papa and I were waiting for. It was a long weekend (Juneteenth), and this was going to be the icing on papa’s Father’s Day weekend. We had dinner plans at 친할아버지 & 친할머니’s home for Father’s Day, but we cancelled all other plans and decided to do what we did with all other big milestones in your life: just pull the plug and take the plunge. I bought and stored some pee pads a few days before, so we packed some in your diaper bag, covered your car seat with one, and took off for dinner.

You did amazing at dinner. You told us when you had to pee - even if it was a little trickle! Then, you got distracted by the TV, so you ended up peeing a BIG puddle in your booster chair. You were about to cry, but we were quick to remind you that you had JUST begun practicing using the toilet, and these accidents are okay. You didn’t mean to pee in your pants, but now that you had, you can remember just how uncomfortable it is. We hoped that this would be a reminder to you each time that you should hold it until you can pee in a toilet. We cleaned you, and got you into some clean pants, and you were happy and continued to use the toilet for the rest of the night.

When it was time for us to leave, we got you washed up and ready for bed at their home to make the transition easier once we got home. You didn’t want to wear your diapers again, but we explained that you had to wear diapers when you were sleeping - but only when you’re sleeping.

The next day, I brought you out of your crib, took off your diaper, and put you in a fresh pair of pants. You were so excited about not wearing your diaper… it was so cute! Then, we prepared ourselves for a lockdown weekend. Throughout the day, you kept papa and me busy with NUMEROUS trips to the bathroom, but you didn’t have a SINGLE accident the whole day! I had to go to work on Monday, but papa took the day off to stay home with you. The usual practice is to spend the morning with you, then get you ready, bring you to my office, get lunch together as a family, then take you home for a nap. This long weekend, however, was a different story: all outings would have to be put on hold.

And yet again, you didn’t have a single accident on Monday! Papa and I were over the moon!!!

I texted your daycare to let them know that you would be attending school on Tuesday sans diapers. Instead, you would be wearing something you had been looking forward to wearing for a LONG time: Disney princess underwear!!!

I packed a number of extra pants along with a few underwear in your school bag, and I was overcome with pride at how you so easily excel at everything we throw at you. You truly are an amazing person. Recently, we started something we call “affirmation time” in the evenings. We sit together and recite:

I am strong.
I am beautiful.
I am smart.
I am kind.
I am loved.

There are so many more that I can add to this list with confidence:

You are brave…
You are empathetic…
You are witty…
You are goofy…
You are precious…
You are bright…
You are wonderful…

…but there is only so much time allotted for bedtime prep.

The week is about to end, and you’ve yet to have an accident. I am so immensely proud of you, and all that it took for you to reach this milestone in your life!

Love always,
Mama

Disneyland

My Dearest Belle,

Papa and I… well, it’s mostly me, but both papa and I have been imagining and looking forward to your first trip to Disneyland for a while. Even before you were a thought, we would think about what it would be like to take our child to Disneyland - what age he or she would need to be, what we would do, how we would prepare…

We definitely believed that you should be between 5-7 years old to really enjoy and REMEMBER everything, but since Disneyland is free to children under 3 years old…

Off we went.

We decided to go on papa’s birthday - May 26th. We would get a “First Visit” badge for you and a “Birthday” badge for papa. We didn’t know what the day would be like, so I tried to get as many tips and tricks before as possible: where to park, what rides to avoid, etc. In addition, you made it very clear that you wanted to meet the princesses, so that was a mission for papa and me all on its own. I actually tried to book a character brunch for us, but they were booked solid. I also tried to get a time slot at the Royal Hall for a meet and greet, but they were booked full throughout the day as well.

We arrived early, and we were one of the first ones in the park. We headed off to the Winnie the Pooh ride, and on the way, we hopped on the Jungle Cruise. Everything would have been okay, but some of the animal sounds were really loud, so that scared you. You cried, buried your face in my arms, and I held you tight throughout the remainder of the ride.

We then headed off to Winnie the Pooh. I didn’t realize that there would be a dark sequence in there where the Heffalumps came out in Pooh’s dream. The darkness, plus all the psychedelic sounds and colors made you cry again.

2 of 2.

I was bracing myself for a LONG day… And it had only been about 20 minutes or so since we got into the park.

We then saw the Dumbo ride… and I honestly didn’t know how you would do with the spinning or height, but you ended up loving it! You liked using the lever to move the elephant up and down (even though our Dumbo didn’t work), and things seemed to be looking up. We then moved on to King Arthur’s Carousel, which was nice and calm for all of us - you even thanked the horse for the ride when we were getting off.

We then walked around and found ourselves in front of the Royal Hall. We saw the little girls who get their makeover completed at Cinderella’s Boutique, and I was internally kicking myself for not booking any of the experiences for your first trip to Disneyland. But the line was barely forming at the Royal Hall, and papa did what he does best: ASK.

He was told that while they ARE fully booked all the time, we can get in line, and it shouldn’t be a problem!

So we stood in line, and we were one of the first group to be let in. We weren’t sure which princesses would greet us - we just knew that there were three ready and waiting for the crowd. You were so excited, and you kept saying that you wanted to meet Cinderella (your favorite) and Ariel. I was hoping that we would meet at least one of them at the Royal Hall, and maybe, MAYBE, we can strike it lucky with the others throughout the day.

The first princess to greet us: Cinderella.

And honestly, I don’t know who was more excited: you or papa and me.

You did the usual thing - you couldn’t take your eyes off Cinderella, but you didn’t say a word - not even your name. We took some photos, and we were off to meet the next princess. We rounded the corner, and there she was: Ariel.

Same thing: you couldn’t take your eyes off her… you wanted a photo with her… but you didn’t say a word.

The last princess was Jasmine, but as far as papa and I were concerned, this was a win.

We exited the Royal Hall, and we saw that Aurora was doing a meet and greet right outside. So of course, we stood in line and met her. You started asking about Belle, and we just weren’t sure if you’d be able to meet her. There is a short musical show that takes place at the Royal Theater, but all shows were cancelled for that day, so we had to hope that the princesses would be out and about. We were able to meet Rapunzel and Flynn Rider, and we were able to meet Cinderella for a second time - this time, outdoors, but still no Belle.

We convinced you to walk away from Fantasyland for a bit by telling you that you can ride a rocket. We saw Astro Orbiter in the distance, and that was enough to get you excited for the next ride! Personally, the ride was a bit too fast and a bit too high for me. I found myself feeling a bit nauseous and a little uneasy about being spun so fast that I was crammed into the side of the ride, but it was worth it just to see you enjoying yourself so much!

We walked around, grabbed lunch, and rested a bit. We then got on the Mad Tea Party, and again, I was pleasantly surprised at how much you enjoyed the ride. We started walking toward It’s a Small World, and stopped to rest on a bench. We then found out that this was the starting point of the parade, and even though it wasn’t set to start for another 1.5 hours, the bench was in such a primo spot, and it was a good excuse for us to attempt a nap.

So you and I left papa to man the bench, and I took the carrier and went off to a quiet corner (or as quiet as it CAN get a Disneyland). It took some time, and I thought my back was going to give out, but you finally fell asleep. With all the hoopla going on, your nap only lasted about 30 minutes or so, but it was still better than nothing. We joined papa again, and settled in to watch the parade.

The parade was filled with all the characters you recognized and liked, but it was still missing a crucial one: Belle. You recognized and waved at Mickey and Minnie, Cinderella, Aurora, Tiana, Moana, Elsa, Anna, Olaf, Christoff, Aladdin, Genie, The Fairy Godmother (or as you call her: “Bibidi Bobidi”), and so many dancers and secondary characters, but Beauty and the Beast was just not part of the line up. So once the parade was over, we packed up our stuff, and we were off. When we started walking, you gave us some additional tasks: Find Belle and ride the rocket again.

We rode It’s a Small World (which was a nice little break for papa and me), and we went off to Toon Town. It was getting quite chilly, and you seemed to be getting a bit fussier, so we went off to search for the ever elusive Belle.

We went back to the Royal Theater, and I was told that IF Belle is going to make an appearance, it would be in about an hour at the Royal Theater. So, I told papa to take you for a walk around the area while I waited in line. I sat on the cold concrete, not sure if this was going to be worth it.

But the time came, and there she was: Belle.

And while you still froze and stared wide-eyed, you managed to tell her your name. The day was a win for papa and me.

You still wanted to ride the rocket again, and so we got your promise that this would be the last one, and rode it one last time.

I didn’t enjoy it.

We then ate dinner at the Plaza Inn, and while you were determined to stay, it was close to 7 PM at that time, and we knew that it was time to go. We stopped by the Crystal Arcade on our way out to buy a souvenir. You picked (what else?) a Cinderella Barbie and a Minnie plush (which has now replaced Monkey as your current favorite).

We brushed your teeth, changed you into your PJs in the car (the shuttle ride to and from the park is a whole other story of papa’s dedication to your fun and enjoyment"), strapped you into your car seat, and we were off. It took you all of 5 minutes to fall asleep. You were so worn out from the day that you didn’t even stir when we took you out of the car when we got home!

It was a long day for papa and me, but it was such a rewarding and memorable trip for us. We made some notes for our next trip - one that most likely won’t happen for a FEW more years - and I’m sure we’ll reminisce about this trip forever…

Love always,
Mama

Birthday No. TWO

My Dearest Belle,

You are TWO years old!!!

Where did the time go??? Your second trip around the sun kept Papa and me VERY busy.

For one, we started you at a new daycare when you turned one. We LOVED the “할머니” & “할아버지” who were taking care of you thus far, but it was clear to us that you needed more social interaction with more adults and definitely more of your peers. The daycare center only takes 12 kids, so it was small enough for you to be comfortable but still be exposed to different personalities.

During this last year, we saw you going from waddling to running…
From missing your mouth to skillfully maneuvering utensils…
From babbling to conversing…
From infanthood to full blown toddler.

This past year brought so many pleasant surprises for Papa and me as we watched you grow in leaps and bounds. The things you say and the way you conduct yourself - especially how well you express yourself verbally - has left us astounded at how quickly and well you pick up languages. Even now, people are amazed at how well you speak - it is definitely well beyond your years. You’re still very shy around other people, and you definitely scare easy (I think that’s on me), but you are developing into such a fun, goofy, sweet human!

In June, I was asked to officiate Auntie Nancy and Uncle Arthur’s wedding in San Diego, and you were asked to be the flower girl! At 18 months and deathly afraid of strangers, we weren’t sure how you would handle walking down the aisle by yourself… I was just hoping and praying that you wouldn’t breakdown crying. At the end of the day, you didn’t make it down the aisle by yourself, but Papa proved himself a trooper by picking you up and taking you down the aisle himself. I told him it was practice for your wedding day.

He wasn’t too amused.

Then in early December, I had to take some photos for our family’s Christmas card. I planned to take you to Rodeo Dr. in Beverly Hills, but with all the year-end plans, the only day we could squeeze in a planned trip was, of course, the last possible weekend. Unfortunately, when we walked out the door, it was raining, and an outdoor photo shoot was out of the question.

SO! We headed off to the Beverly Center, hoping that they would have some decent Christmas decorations up. It wasn’t the most festive mall, but it was enough for us to get what we needed!

The week before Christmas, we took you to Westfield Century City to meet Santa. Of course, we were expecting a meltdown when it came time to actually meet the big guy, and you did NOT disappoint! It’s okay - everyone told me that the crying photo with Santa is a rite of passage for parents. Fortunately, we were able to get some non-crying photos before and after the meet-and-greet though!

As of late, we’re working on your intense preference for me (as well as your equally intense rejection of Papa), but everyone tells us it’s a phase, so we’re waiting for it to pass - much to Papa’s sorrow.

You’ve been into unicorns lately, so for your second birthday, I organized a party at your daycare so that you can celebrate with all your friends. I baked a cake (five birthday cake layers, swiss meringue buttercream frosting, sprinkles for decoration, along with unicorn toppings), put together goodie bags, and bought you a unicorn dress. Although parents are not allowed to join the celebrations, they sent out plenty of pictures - enough for me to see that you had a great time. It was hectic and crazy (and the pouring rain on the day of didn’t help with food pick-up/drop-off), but your smiles in the photos made it all worth the effort and stress.

Papa and I love seeing you grow day by day… week by week… month by month… And we’re so excited to see what the next year will bring!

Love always,
Mama

Happy Birthday, Belle~!

My Dearest Belle,

Your first birthday party has come and gone. It was a blizzard of photos, outfit changes, walkarounds, etc., etc., etc. I don’t remember much about it… honestly, everything sped by so fast. We were so busy and caught up in the day that we even forgot to show the slideshow I worked so hard on!

We were surrounded by friends and family as we celebrated the miracle that you are. It was crazy… it was hectic… it was SO MUCH FUN!

I was reminded of the village it took to sustain me as we went through the fertility treatment process, and I was filled with gratitude to God… to our community… to you…

You are SO loved, Peanut… and not just by Papa and me.

Love always,
Mama

Month TWELVE

My Dearest Belle,

Happy birthday, my love! Wow! You are ONE year old~!!! ONE WHOLE YEAR!

One whole year of giggles and laughter
One whole year of new skills, words, signing, etc.
One whole year of hugs and cuddles
One whole year of wonder and amazement
One whole year of diaper changes
One whole year of washing (seemingly endless) bottles
One whole year of you.

This past month, you have MASTERED walking. Okay… I admit: you still kind of have that waddle… but it’s so cute! You’re also so much more expressive - you’ve learned to couple signing “more” with pointing so that we know better what you’re asking for. You always seem so alert and curious - it’s like you’re ready to soak in and learn more and more each day.

We have your 돌잔치 planned for next Saturday, and the weather's supposed to be a bit rainy. With COVID, and the outfits I have planned for you, I'm not sure if it'll work with the rain, but what I DO know is that it's going to be a FUN day! Papa and I have been waiting for this day forever! Ever since we started trying for a baby, this was a milestone that we have been wanting to celebrate with family and friends, and we can’t believe it’s almost here!!!

We’re beyond ecstatic that we’re already here! The past year has truly FLOWN by.

On a sadder note, at the end of the month, we will be moving you from your current caregivers to an actual daycare center. Papa and I always wanted you to have more social interactions with other children and adults - it’s often difficult to watch you have so much trouble interacting with other people (you seem to take “stranger danger” to a whole other level). I’m so bummed that you will no longer have the undivided attention of “아미" and "하비" with their amazing love and delicious food, but I know that in the long run, this is a better move for your growth and development.

The center we found was highly recommended by a friend of mine who sent her son there years ago. Papa and I went for a tour, and it’s homely with a Director who makes Korean food from some of the vegetables grown by the kiddos and herself in the garden out back. After the tour, we felt good about enrolling you there, so we committed to the space, and the decision was made.

There’s a lot to look forward to in the next few days, but we’re also looking forward to all the other milestones you’re going to hit in the years to come!!!

Love always,
Mama

Month ELEVEN


My Dearest Belle,

You are 11 months old today. Papa and I blinked… and you’re now only a month away from your first birthday!!! This past month has been FILLED with some really fun milestones!

We got to celebrate our first New Year’s Day with you! This meant I got to put you in a princess dress, then take you to 친할아버지 & 친할머니’s home to do some 세배!

You know how to 만세… or should it be hallelujah since we’re a good Christian family???

You’re WALKING!!! You started showing more initiative by letting go of the couch when you’re cruising, but now, you’re taking anywhere from 4-8 steps every time we let go of your hands! It’s so fun to see how excited you get with this new skill you’ve picked up, and we can’t wait until we get to literally run around WITH you!

You’re learning more and more each day. You now say “엄마”, “아빠”, “맘마”, “하비”, and “멍멍”. You’re also getting close to mastering “괙괙” (you say '“각각”) and “삐약삐약” (you say “비아비아”). You also respond to “토끼” by flapping your arms (apparently, that’s you'r interpretation of “깡촐깡총”. It’s not exactly the same thing, but it’s close enough when you’re as cute as you are.

You learned how to sign the word “more”. This pertains almost exclusively to food - what else?

Lately, Papa had been feeling a bit sad because you definitely favor me and you’ve become quite attached to me more so than him. It most likely has to do with how much more time I spend with you than him, but it still stung for him. So on the weekends, he’s been trying to spend more time with you, and I’ve been trying to keep myself busy with other things to do around the house so that you two can have some alone time. I think it paid off, because you two have developed your own games:

And now that your first birthday is only a month away, I’m in full-on prep mode for your 돌 잔치. Booking vendors, buying clothes and accessories, planning, scheduling… and Papa has… not asked me to make any food.

Are you chuckling? Because I stopped a while ago…

It’s been kind of hectic and stressful, but I’m having so much fun reveling in the thought that you’re finally hitting such a huge milestone. I know I say this all the time, but I really don’t know where the past 11 months went! You bring us so much joy and laughter every, single day, and we are so proud and in love with you, Peanut.

Love always,
Mama

Month TEN

My Dearest Belle,

You are TEN months old today!

TEN MONTHS!

It’s incredible how fast time is flying by… how has it already been TEN months since you’ve come into this world?

You are so much more energetic and mobile than ever before, and now, it’s impossible to take these monthly photos without Papa’s help:

This past month, you said “아빠” (or a close enough version of it), and Papa is over the moon for it. You’re also getting better and better at standing on your own (record is 17 seconds), and everyone’s convinced that you’ll take your first step soon. There have been a couple times when you actually stood at the couch or play table, turned, then took a step in the direction you wanted to go in…

Does that count as your first step???

I don’t know…

Anywho, the weather is finally changing, and it’s starting to actually feel like winter (or at least as close to winter as you can get in Southern California), so I got to put the bear hat on you!!!

This month also brought Christmas, and we were blessed by so many people showering you with some wonderful gifts. 이모 할머니 wanted to get you a “thinking chair”. Apparently, it’s the chair you sit on to think about what you did when you get in trouble. Personally, I would love for it to be your favorite reading chair.

Uncle James and Auntie Sandra spent the last 5-6 months scouring Pottery Barn to get you a rocking unicorn - with your name engraved in it! It’s so soft and fuzzy… I wish I had one when I was little…

숙모 할머니 personally knit you a beanie. It’s a little big for you now, but you still rocked the look:

And during this month, I was finally brave enough to drop you off at the baby room at church. Of course, you cried… and screamed… and I was anxious and uneasy like no other. And since it was the week before Christmas Sunday, they took a picture of you to commemorate the holidays. It was very clear that you had JUST finished crying.

Unfortunately, COVID-19’s second strain, omnicron, started spreading more rapidly since your first week there because people were all gathering for the holidays, so we don’t know when we’ll feel safe enough to go back to in-person service, but Papa is determined to get you accustomed to staying in the baby room so that you can get some social interaction time with other babies and adults.

I’m still feeling a bit anxious about it, but I do agree that it will be helpful for you in the long run… I’m just not looking forward to the next time I have to hand you over then walk away while you cry for me.

So it seems like as you grow older, Papa and I are being forced to grow with along with you.

And whatever else Month Eleven brings, I’m looking forward to each and every, single day.

Love always,
Mama

First Christmas

My Dearest Belle,

Today was your very first Christmas!!! Merry Christmas, my love~!

There were so many Christmases when I would sit and wonder what it would be like to celebrate Christmas with my own child, and today, you made it a reality for Papa and me. And although you’re too young to know the different between Christmas and Tuesday, you made this day so special for us. We didn’t get to get together with family (thank you, COVID), we didn’t even get to do a big, gift-opening ceremony since you’re still so young, but just the fact that you’re here… that we are celebrating Christmas as a family of three…

My heart just swells with love.

Oh! And you learned a new thing today!

And Papa and I look forward to so many more Christmases to come~!

Love always,
Mama

Nine-Month Check-Up

My Dearest Belle,

Today was your nine-month check-up. You measured in at 32 in., and you weigh 24 lbs. and 7.75 oz.! You’re still in the 99th percentile for weight and off the charts for your height. Your cranial growth is back on track (we had a teeny tiny dip at the six-month mark). Dr. Phillips said that you are doing very well in hitting all your milestones and you look to be doing great with all the other health and development markers.

We have been tasked to start reducing your daily formula intake from your current tally of 30 oz. per day to 24 oz. After your first birthday, we’ll be transitioning to cow milk, and your limit for your daily intake will be 24 oz. with the rest being supplemented from solids.

Your babysitters are amazing - they’ve been feeding you so many different kinds of fruits, vegetables, and meat… a far greater variety than what I would have thought to feed you at this point. And so far, you haven’t shown signs of allergies to ANY of them. Praise God!!!

On a slightly different note, I’ve always passed out Christmas cards to friends and families, but it was always the boxed sets of cute but generic stock images. This year, I was so excited to print custom cards for the first time! Of course, as is with any photography attempt with you, this was one a challenge

I can’t wait to design and print the cards to pass out to our friends and families. Just another experience you’ve upgraded in our family~!

Love always,
Mama

Month NINE

My Dearest Belle,

Nine months… you are nine months old.

I blinked, and you were nine months old.

Taking these monthly photos of you are nearly impossible now. Your curiosity and tendency to grab, pull and taste everything means I need Papa’s help to take these photos. And even then, I had to take dozens of them to get one that’s useable. Here are a few of my favorites:

The day before you turned nine months, you said your first word. Papa swears you said “엄마”, but I’m more convinced that it was “맘마”. Papa thinks I’m being too critical, but I think it’s just his wishful thinking. After all, he’s been spending the past couple months repeating “엄마” to you constantly in the hopes that it would be your first word. And to do all that only to have your first word be “맘마”… well, I don’t think Papa would be able to handle it.

Then, the next day, on our very first Thanksgiving as a family of three, you did it. You clearly said, “엄마”. It was beautiful, and like everything new I encounter through you, it left me speechless and made my heart crumble a bit. 이모 할머니 thought I was making a mountain out of a molehill, so I had to film you as proof:

Your first Thanksgiving was really small - only your 친 할머니 & 할아버니 could make it. But it was your first time trying roasted potatoes, creamed spinach, creamed corn, popovers, and PRIME RIB! It was the first time in a LONG while that I put a whole meal together, and having you at the table to enjoy it with us just the PERFECT icing on the cake. Soon enough, I’m hoping you and I can start a tradition of cooking and baking for our family meals together. Out of so many of the things I’m looking forward to sharing with you, this is definitely at the top of the list.

Your nine-month check-up is coming up soon, but I have no doubt that you are healthy and hitting all your milestones. You are so, so loved, my little Peanut~!

Love always,
Mama

Month EIGHT

My Dearest Belle,

You are eight months old!

This past month, your top two front teeth came out. The top ones definitely seem to be giving you more trouble than the bottom two. You have been drooling a LOT more, and the fussiness is at another level. Don’t get me wrong you don’t cry or fuss as much as other babies - something papa and I are so thankful for - but it’s significantly more than what we’re used to with you.

I know… we’re spoiled.

You’ve mastered pulling to stand, and now, you’re so mobile that we have trouble keeping you in one place. We have officially begun the phase where we chase you all around. I say that we only began this phase because as of right now, it’s more like you following us into the kitchen… your room… the bathroom…

In addition, you’re so much more aware of being left alone. It’s actually gotten to the point where if I leave you on the floor to go use the restroom, you’ll fuss and cry while you crawl into the bathroom, and if I leave you in the play table, you’ll cry because you can’t see me.

So now, I just take you, play table and all, into the bathroom to stand there and watch me pee.

One of the many joys of motherhood.

I’m also trying to introduce a greater variety of solids for you, and this month brought kiwi and bell peppers into the mix. As always, you did great! In addition, your babysitters have started making and feeding you thinned out porridge everyday. So now, you get a fix of rice with mushrooms, carrots, and squash for lunch every weekday!

With each passing day, papa and I wonder as God’s providence and favor over our family - over you - increases exponentially. We are blessed as parents to have you, and we are truly blessed as a family. I pray that this will continue throughout your entire life and extend to your children… and your children’s children… and their children… and their children…

You get the point.

Love always,
Mama

Month SEVEN

My Dearest Belle,

You are seven months old! I’m a few days late in writing this letter - the 26th came and went in the blink of an eye.

Time continues to fly by, and it seems like the only way I can enjoy some semblance of pausing it - even for a moment - is to take as many photos and videos of you as I can. With each passing month, you’re hitting milestone after milestone, and I cannot be more proud of you! Watching you grow is so bittersweet: on one hand, I swell with pride that you’re progressing so well in your development; on the other hand, there are moments when it hits me that I can’t cradle you like I used to, and I feel a pang of sadness.

You are so much more mobile now, too! When you crawl (if you can even call it crawling), you always look like you’re in a hurry to get places. If it was up to you, I would swear that you would prefer to just stand and walk to wherever it is you’re huffing and puffing to get to. This also means that taking your monthly pictures was no walk in the park. Usually, I would put you in the rocker, place the monthly markers around you, and snap as many pictures as I needed. Today was a completely different story:

So I tried more creative means:

But that still didn’t work.

So, I had to resort to the high chair to finally get some decent photos of you. That doesn’t mean you didn’t try to grab the blocks or even push them off the tray, but some well hidden crackers (i.e., bribes) did the trick!

You also started showing interest in pulling yourself to standing. First it was just on my legs, but soon, you started reaching higher and higher. Now, you’re able to pull yourself to standing like it’s nothing!

Your daily schedule is set now, and Papa and I are fully in the groove of things. It’s still not easy waking up and caring for you by myself on the weekends, but I absolutely look forward to waking you up every morning. Your bedhead, swollen eyes, and beautiful smile… it is, hands down, the best way to start my day.

Thank you for always putting a smile on my face. Thank you for living up to your name and being the best promise God has kept in my life. Thank you for being you, my little Peanut.

Love always,
Mama

Six-Month Check-Up

My Dearest Belle,

Today, we went in for your sixth month’s check-up and immunization shots. You weighed 20 lbs. 6.8 oz., and you measured 29.5 in.! That puts you at the 97th percentile for weight, and you’re off the charts for heights (as you’ve been since birth). You’re growing so strong, Peanut, and Papa and I couldn’t be happier about it.

Dr. Phillips said that your two bottom teeth look good, and the top ones look like they’re coming in as well. That explains a lot, because I noticed lately that you frequently have a low fever and you seem to have trouble sleeping for long stretches during the night like you used to. However, in spite of the discomfort you must be going through, you never cry and fuss throughout the night, allowing Papa and me to get our rest. We’re always so thankful to you for this grace that you allow us, my love.

When you were born, we were invited to be a part of a research study that Cedars Sinai was running on women who got pregnant and gave birth during the COVID-19 pandemic. The study also focuses on the development of the babies throughout the first year or so of their lives. I decided to opt in for the study, and since your birth, I’ve been collecting and sending in your stool samples to them twice a month. At the six-month mark, they ask for an infant MRI. I was worried about whether they would be able to get the images they need from you because you’re such a light sleeper - I just didn’t know how you would do being strapped down and stuck inside a very loud tunnel. Thankfully, the schedule worked out where you were able to eat then fall promptly asleep for your nap, so they were able to get about 20 minutes of uninterrupted images while you slept.

I could attribute it to the schedule… I could attribute it to timing… I can even attribute it to luck…

But I’m going to say that it’s because it’s you.

You are so wonderful - even in your most difficult moments. Papa and I always talk about how lucky we are to have you as our daughter.

Thank you for growing up so strong and healthy. Thank you for being so amazing. Thank you for being my baby~

Love always,
Mama

Month SIX

My Dearest Belle,

You are six months old today! Half a year has already gone by since you made us a family of three… I know I ask this question with every passing month, but really… Where has the time gone?

This past month, you’ve tried carrots, cauliflower, butternut squash, peas, apples, broccoli, and sweet potatoes, and you devoured it all! A few days ago, I even gave you batons of banana, and while you still need to work on your hand-eye coordination a bit, you did so well eating with your hands! It’s a bit nerve-wracking to think about giving you non-pureed food, but you aced all other tasks and milestones to date…

You were born with a FULL set of beautiful, black hair. It had the starts of wispy curls at the ends, and we always knew that it would grow out curly. Now, it’s finally long enough for me to do this:

Papa says I shouldn’t do it too much - he’s afraid that the little ties will pull out your hair. But it’s so cute~~~

You’re also getting better at sitting unassisted. You still tend to topple over after a few seconds, but your core is definitely getting stronger! You’re also showing signs of crawling, too! You’ve learned to tuck your legs under, push up on your arms, and rock/bounce back and forth. Your arms aren’t strong enough to sustain your weight individually, so whenever you reach for a toy with one, you end up falling forward. However, getting to your desired destination has NOT been a problem for you:

You fill our home and hearts with laughter everyday - whether it’s your messy, post-meal face, your sweet and slightly crooked smile, or even the noises you make while you’re pooping… It’s all beautiful and sweet to Papa and me. I wish there was a way to capture and hold each and every moment with you, but these letters and the many, many, MANY photos and videos we have stored in our phones will have to do.

Love always,
Mama

Month FIVE

My Dearest Belle,

You are five months old today!!! It’s amazing how fast time flies by with you…

This past month, you hit so many different milestones that I had moments when I was holding you and became overcome with sadness that you were growing up too fast. While it was exciting to see you grow into a person all your own, you no longer felt like a newborn… and while I don’t miss the sleepless nights, I do miss the cuddles I got from holding you while you slept. Now, holding you in the same position is harder because you’re so tall~

You surprised me when you took on sleep training like a champ. I was expecting at least a few nights of fighting heartbreak and tears listening to you cry yourself to sleep for an hour at a time. But you rocked it on the first night! We’ve had a few nights of regression here and there, but you’ve taken to it beautifully overall, and Papa and I are so proud of you!

We also started introducing solids to your daily meals. We started with oatmeal cereal in the morning and night, and you did well with it. After a week, I made you avocado puree watered down with formula, and you did NOT like it at all. So we went back to oatmeal cereal for now. We’ll have to either try avocado again or give carrots a try soon.

The biggest surprise for Papa and me was when we found out that you cut your first tooth without us even knowing you were teething! I started using a silicone finger brush to wash your gums during your bath, and one day, I randomly decided to go back to using a washcloth and TADA! There it was! A teeny, tiny little tooth! It was so cute and beautiful and marvelous and amazing!!! You hadn’t shown any signs of the usual discomforts I was expecting from teething: no extra fussiness, pain, loss of sleep, etc. You were always your joyful, happy, bouncy self, and POOF! There it was!

The best part?

The following day, I found a second tooth peeking out in a small sliver of white against your pink gums!

You’re always so full of pleasant surprises, Peanut!

They say that when your first kid is easy, it’s to trick you into having a second… is that what you’re up to? If our second is going to be anything like you, I’m definitely down for another.

Maybe just not for another year or so - not because I don’t want a second child too soon, but because I want to have more time with just you…

Love always,
Mama

If Only...

My dearest Belle,

Today, we had to start you with a new sitter.

Sabrina just stopped showing up one day, so I had to scramble to find someone to take care of you while I was at work. It took a couple weeks, but we were able to find someone new. The catch was that I had to drop you off and pick you up from their place everyday.

It was heartbreaking leaving you at home with someone new while I went to work… and now, I have to leave you in someone else’s home everyday…

The new sitters are wonderful - they’re a married couple who are retired and spending their days taking care of babies in their home to earn some spending money. The couple times we met with them, they seemed so loving and doted on you so much that I’m not worried about your care. What rips me apart most is that you’ll be cared for by someone who’s not me.

I dropped you off this morning, and I just didn’t know how to say bye and leave. I kept holding on to your little hands grasping my finger so tightly, and I didn’t want to leave. I broke down crying in front of the sitter and had to just turn around and leave. I ran down the stairs, got in the car, and sobbed the entire way to the office. The whole time, I kept thinking:

If only we had the money…
If only I didn’t have to work…
If only I could work from home…

I hate the idea of not being your main caretaker when you’re this little. Papa wanted us to take care of you at home until you were at least 1. But our financial situation just didn’t allow for me to not work.

Apparently, you didn’t cope too well with the separation either. The sitter texted saying that you cried inconsolably for 20-30 minutes after I left.

That text alone broke me all over again.

But she followed it up with photos and a video of you relaxed, napping, and smiling.

It was bittersweet, but I was relieved that you were adjusting well to the new environment - far better than I’m doing. Once again, I’m finding that you’re so much stronger than I am.

I brought you home, fed you dinner, and spent some time just playing with you. I wanted to reconnect with you. I wanted to just be with you. I missed you sooooooooo much all day. Tomorrow’s going to be another day, and it’ll (hopefully) be easier to part with you - I’m hoping there will be no more tears on both our ends.

I’m telling myself that this, too, will lead to something bigger and better for you… that God will work this to be a source of blessing and growth for you that you wouldn’t be able to experience otherwise. I keep telling myself that to ensure that I can be strong for both of us tomorrow morning… and the morning after that… and the morning after that…

As with all the choices I make in regards to you, I really pray and hope that this is the right choice - not just for you, but for us as a family.

Love always,
Mama

First Tooth

My dearest Belle,

You cut your first tooth today!!!

Okay… the more accurate phrase would be: “We discovered your first tooth today~!”

Tonight, we were bathing you, and while washing your gums, I felt something sharp. I thought something had gone into your mouth and felt around a bit more. And there it was… your first tooth! A teeny, tiny sliver of white on your lower gum!!!

You never showed any signs of pain or discomfort - no fever… no extra fussiness… nothing! It was just you being you, and all of a sudden, POOF! There was your first tooth! Papa and I were so shocked!

You, peanut, are my amazing bundle of surprise and joy!

Love always,
Mama

Starting Solids

My dearest Belle,

You started eating solids!

I’ve been looking forward to introducing you to solid foods for a while now, and after debating which food item to start with, I decided to go with oatmeal cereal. You didn’t know what to make of the different texture at first (not to mention the new way of eating with a spoon), but you caught on quickly!

The plan is to give you a serving of cereal with your first and last meal of each day for about a week before introducing you to a new food item. Next on the list:

AVOCADO!!!

Papa and I are so excited about these milestones that you’re hitting! You’re growing up so fast~~~~ I’m so proud of you!

Love always,
Mama