Yesterday was my first ultrasound with the doctor for the new year. Everything “looked good” and we're good to start our very first round of IVF. What I didn’t know was that it would be about ten weeks from now until implantation. So we’re looking at 2.5 months of waiting, then even more waiting to see if the implantation worked.
I was prescribed two weeks of birth control pills (which seems counter-productive, but is apparently necessary to kick-start the process), then it’ll be another ultrasound to make sure that I’m good to go for the daily rounds of meds and injections. There will even be an hour-long tutorial at the doctor’s office on how to take/inject each of the many meds prescribed for the process. THEN comes the ultrasounds and blood tests every other day.
When I was leaving the doctor’s office, they gave me a breakdown of my IVF schedule, then a breakdown of the cash package for the entire process. They kindly took their time explaining the different options we have and how each cost will be determined and applied, but the mountainous sum was dizzying. I felt my brain slowly check out because to really focus and understand how much this would all cost would require answering the question: “How are we going to pay for all this???”
Then came more questions:
“What if this doesn’t work?”
”Is it right for us to spend this huge amount of money on something that God hasn’t given to us naturally?”
”What if this doesn’t work?”
”Am I ready for this?”
”What if this doesn’t work?”
I had to calm myself down and remind myself of God’s promise:
2020 is going to be a good year.
Yes and amen.