Jin and I have been praying more these days. I believe this is what God was waiting for. Since we got married, a lot of past scars we didn’t even know existed surfaced - old hurts that, thanks to our negligence, got infected and were screaming for attention. We have been dealing with these scars, one after another, for the past four years., and with each one, I have been learning just how broken we both are.
These things have brought us - especially Jin - closer to God. I see more and more of his reliance on God, and as a wife, I am so encouraged by the positive changes I see in him. As for me, God has been providing more opportunities for me to intercede in prayer again. As I see these changes in both Jin and myself, I am learning that God has actually been waiting for US:
WE needed to be freed from our past pains so that we do not inflict it on our child(ren).
WE needed to be ready to rely on Him for these smaller things because once He entrusts us with another life, we’ll need to rely on and trust Him more deeply and with greater faith.
WE needed to be experienced in fighting for each other in prayer so that we can be practiced enough to fight for our child(ren) once they are in the world.
I also see that, in spite of all that’s going on, we are truly blessed:
We are blessed to have found each other.
We are blessed to be going through these fertility issues when medicine has advanced enough for us to have options when it comes to bringing a child into this world.
We are blessed to have friends who love and support us through their time, love, and especially prayers.
Now if I can just remember these truths when I am feeling like God has somehow forgotten about us…