Our Valentine’s Day this year started very early in the morning. We woke up at 6:00 AM to prepare and leave for Beverly Hills. We were excited for the day… but not for the reasons you’d think.
I was scheduled for an egg retrieval procedure at 8:30 AM, and we had to be at the surgery center by 7:15 AM.
The nurse assigned to me kept rushing and calling me “baby girl.” She didn’t look any older than me, but whatever made her feel better…Blood pressure and temperature measured, IV put in and hooked up, a quick visit from my doctor and the anesthesiologist, and we were on our way to the procedure room. I was given the anesthetics right before they wheeled me off, and soon after reaching the procedure room, I was out.
I started coming to and noticed that I was still in the procedure room. They wheeled me back to the waiting area, and I knocked out again. At one point, I remember my doctor coming by to check up on me. She told me that the procedure went smoothly, but I could tell by her expression that she wasn’t too excited. She told me that they were able to harvest 6 eggs. We were expecting 12-15… and although I prepared myself for the possibility of less than that, I was NOT expecting 6…
I was told that the procedure itself takes about 20-30 minutes, so it couldn’t have been later than 9:00 AM when I got back. But they kept me in there for a while because I was apparently having trouble breathing and the monitor was beeping all sorts of warnings to the nursing staff. My nurse was absolutely in a rush to get me out of there. She brought over some water and Tylenol for me, in the hopes that it would make me feel better and get me out of there earlier, but it was only 10 minutes before I had to throw it all up. Between the nausea and drowsiness, I felt miserable.
When my breathing finally stabilized and my blood pressure was back down to normal, they asked me if I was ready for Jin. If I had it my way, I would have asked him to be by my side way earlier.
As I waited for them to call Jin in, I thought, “Six eggs… Only 6… Of those how many will actually get inseminated??? How many less will pass the chromosomal testing???” When Jin walked in, I felt relieved to see him, but I was drowning in guilt, too. It felt like, once again, my body had failed. How could there have ONLY be 6 eggs out of 17 follicles???
Jin walked in with a smile, and all I wanted to do was cry. I was sorry and disappointed… I was frustrated and angry… I felt broken and useless… Thank God the nausea and drowsiness left me out of sorts and unable to express any of the above.
“It’s okay, wife. Dr. Wang told me everything. It’s only six eggs, but they’re going to be super eggs!”
His enthusiasm made me smile, but there was still a part of me dying from guilt.
Once we got home, I knocked out for over two hours, but the nausea didn’t go away until evening. I threw up everything I ate and drank all day, and it wasn’t until dinner that I was actually able to hold down food. While picking up lunch, Jin picked up groceries for a Valentine’s Day dinner at home, and he made us a delicious steak dinner with ice cream for dessert.
Ice cream always helps.
Always.
From this point on, we’re looking at about another 1-1.5 months until implantation. Until then, the real test will be to keep our eyes fixed on God’s promises and not lose faith.