WARNING: Today is NOT one of my good and optimistic days.
Turns out, your chances of success with IUI do NOT increase with each try. So, each time we try, we’re looking at an 8-10% chance of success.
That’s it.
I’m trying to be optimistic (mostly for everyone else’s benefit), but it’s definitely not easy. Each time, I can sense the other’s hesitancy in asking us about our progress, then comes the slightly awkward and not-so-reassuring nods and pats. Each time, I put on the best smile I can manage in that moment and say one or more of the following:
“I’m sure it’ll happen for us soon!”
“We’re just waiting on God’s timing~!”
“We ARE planning ahead for the possibility of IVF, but we’re praying that we won’t need it!”
“Yes, we’re NOT losing hope and praying through this!”
Going through this process, I’ve heard variations of the same phrases that people repeat to Jin and me, and I always have a response in my head that I never say out loud. (Be forewarned: LOTS of bitterness and anger ahead.)
“Try not to stress about it.” | ”Try not to think about it too much.”
Wow! Why didn’t I think of that???
“Don’t worry – God has a plan for you, and He WILL make this happen!”
Yes and AMEN – but seriously, how much time have you devoted to praying for our family and what kind of confirmations have you received?
“Don’t worry and stay positive!!!”
Easy for you to say…
“Having kids isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.”
That’s because you HAVE them.
“Don’t worry! Medicine has advanced so much – if nothing else, you can always go through IVF!”
Really? Are YOU going to pay for any or all of our IVF trials?
“I KNOW this is going to happen for you guys. I just KNOW it.”
Do ya???
“Hey, there’s always surrogacy and adoption!”
Hey, not everyone’s strong enough (or wealthy enough) for those options.
“Wait as LONG as possible before you have kids!!!!!! Enjoy this time alone!!!”
Fuck you.