My Dearest Belle,
Yesterday, Papa and I ended up starting sleep training partially on a whim and partially out of desperation.
It was a Saturday night, and we had gone through your bedtime routine already. At the end, for some reason, your swaddle wouldn’t fit. The swaddles fit perfectly fine until the night before, but last night, for some unexplainable reason, the Velcro just wouldn’t line up, the sides wouldn’t wrap just right, and it was just a hot mess. We even tried the bigger size swaddle, but it ended up giving you so much wiggle room that your arms squirmed free in minutes. We swaddled you the best we could, and Papa took you in as usual. Papa sat in the rocking chair holding you fast asleep for 20+ minutes. Then you stirred… and kept stirring… and kept stirring…
After close to 40+ minutes of holding you and rocking you back to sleep time and again, he put you down in your crib (awake), came out, and said, “Let’s just start sleep training tonight.”
Up until this point, we talked about which method we would employ, how we would implement it, what to expect… but we just couldn’t settle on one method. I was leaning toward full extinction (just rip off the band-aid), but Papa was leaning more towards the Ferber methods with the check-ins. I’ve read so many people’s experiences with Ferber - the check-ins ended up upsetting the babies more, so after a few days, people ended up resorting to full extinction anyway.
So last night, we decided to rip the band-aid.
We walked in together, turned on the night light (you were fully awake anyway), took off your swaddle, put on a sleep sack, took away your pacifier, pillow, and all other loose cloths in the crib, then we kissed a crying/screaming you good night, reassured you that we love you, have faith in you, and will see you in the morning and turned off the night light.
Then we walked out.
Papa ate chips and salsa to keep himself distracted.
I sat there and cried with you.
Your cries and screams were heartbreaking. It felt like someone was tearing my heart into shreds.
You rolled over onto your tummy, but you arm was stuck, so I had to go in there to get it out. And although Papa put on a strong face, I think it was tearing him up too - he kept insisting that I go in to fix this or fix that while he just kept stuffing his face with chips and salsa.
Each time, I went in, did what I needed to do, kissed you good night again, and walked out…
And broke down all over again.
Then, a little short of an hour of crying, you stopped. You just put your head down and fell asleep.
There were moments when you would wake up, look around, get fussy, or sometimes even just cry. But you always put your head back down and fell back asleep. I was so thankful to you and so proud of you! Papa and I were amazed at how well you were adapting!
Today, we used extinction method on your naps as well. You cried for an average of 5-15 minutes then fell asleep. You had bouts of waking up and crying, but you just kept going back to sleep… and slept for two hours for each nap!
Tonight is Independence Day, which means there are a lot of knuckleheads out there popping off illegal fireworks in unsanctioned public places - including our neighborhood. We were worried that this would mess up your sleep training. All those tears and screams would have been for nothing.
But you, my love…
You slept.
And slept.
Not a stir from all the fireworks.
Just sound sleep.
You are, without a doubt, a wonderful, precious, lovely, and beautiful miracle in all shapes and forms. Thank you for being so amazing!!!
Love always,
Mama